Want to explain a missing family member? Want to put a backstory to a grave? Want to be a dick and stop the players talking to that crucial NPC? I am the OSR, roll d30:
- Fell through a rotten floor into a nest of vermin
- Thrown from their horse when it was spooked by a ghost
- Skin sloughed off and blew away on the wind
- Became maudlin, stopped eating
- Hung themself out of spite
- Limbs turned into snakes and slithered off
- Challenged someone to a duel, killed them, killed in turn by a sibling
- Cursed by a boggart, dried out, shrivelled up
- Got an infection, swelled up, burst
- Took patent medicine for a headache
- Took to bed, raved prophecy for three days, expired
- An excess of laudanum administered for joint pain
- Ran wild with joy, fell in a pit
- Hit by an arrow meant for a cheating spouse
- Cheated on their spouse
- Ate very old beans
- Key parts wore out
- Bones ran away from them
- Years of hard living
- Years of loose living
- Picked a fight with a bear
- Jumped in to save another
- Something came at them out of the dark
- A long suffering neighbour put them out of his misery
- With each passing year, another ailment
- Was careless with tools
- Was barely noticed amid the many that winter
- Slowed to a halt over many years
- They shrank as their spouse grew
- No reasonable explanation, but here they are
The Wrong Kind of Wax 