If it bleeds, it leads

The Immergleich Panick, 28 Feb 936 β€”

MURDER WITH AN ARROW, HANGING

Three MURDEROUS THUGS were tried today in the Court Physical for MURDERING Deela Cribzin with an ARROW. She was a Court Runner, and only EIGHTEEN. They were the CRIMINALS Crursa Fell, Pockridge Bolut, and Nob Pouring. They had no bow, so they FORCED the arrow through her head WITH THEIR HANDS. They claimed they were innocent, that someone else had fired the arrow, but with their TERRIBLE CRIMINAL HISTORIES no-one believed them. After a trial by combat against the Judicial Champion Urzzzz Urzzz, a cave troll, Judge Crinthia Srebs told the survivor that they were WORSE THAN A MONSTER and sentenced them to be hung.

WAR IN PITSIDE

Pitside is “like a WAR” said Toftman Phile Ward yesterday, after his barge was SET ON FIRE. Gangs of ANGRY YOUTHS knife each other in alleyways, while old women are TAKEN FROM THEIR HOMES and EATEN. Notorious extortionist Bolls Cornut, who has a HORRIBLE MOUTH instead of a hand, leads one gang. Kylissa Ept, who is suspected of two MURDERS, leads another. And the MAD WIZARD “Joke”, who is NEITHER A MAN NOR A WOMAN and who NEVER SMILES or laughs leads a third gang, who may not be people but be SOMETHING ELSE.

No-one has heard from The Queen, the CRIMINAL MASTERMIND who some say rules Pitside, but sources in the warzone say she is probably behind all this.

 

 

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